Ep. 291 - Your Why for Pickleball

[00:00:00.820] - Tony Roig Hello and welcome to Pickleball Therapy, the podcast dedicated to your pickleball improvement. This week I am on site, on location, so the sound will be a little bit different. I am at the US Open, the 10th year of the US Open, 2026. The US Open is a special event for me personally as a pickleball player. I played in the US Open in its first year in 2016, and it really set the hook for me. [00:00:29.120] - Tony Roig So in this podcast, I'm going to talk to you about the why of pickleball and specifically your why of pickleball. But I was reminded of that because of this event, the US Open, and I'm playing it tomorrow. There'll be a little bit of noise in the background from time to time. It should not interfere with the podcast, but just so you understand what's happening, if you're listening to an audio-only video, you'll be able to see the beautiful courts behind me here in Naples, Florida. This is one of the meccas of pickleball. [00:00:53.620] - Tony Roig It was one of the first facilities in pickleball that had close to 40 courts back in the day. Now they have, I believe, 60 courts. They've expanded it with a championship court and everything like that. So it's a very serious venue. My name is Tony Roig. [00:01:05.080] - Tony Roig I'm the host of this weekly podcast, and it's a pleasure to be with you. Let's dive into the concept of the why of pickleball, your why of pickleball. And in the riff, I'll share with you a little bit more about my experience at the US Open if you want to stick around for that. And I'll share with you specifically a story about court 10 that occurred over right in front of me there. It's a special court for me because it was one of the first courts that I ever competed on in this amazing sport. [00:01:30.250] - Tony Roig Spoiler: it was not a good score for us, for me and my partner Tom. But that is not why we play pickleball, right? So it was an amazing experience nonetheless. So let's dive into this idea of the why of pickleball. And as I mentioned, I was reminded of this concept because of the US Open. [00:01:47.340] - Tony Roig This week, coming down here, came down here today, playing tomorrow with my friend Jeff from the Carolinas. We're going to play in the men's senior open division. But when we signed up for the event, when Jeff reached out to me, signed up for the event, I called him and I said, Jeff, I am happy to play with you. I've known him for a few years now. We've always gotten along really well on the court. [00:02:07.520] - Tony Roig We've never partnered together in a tournament. But I told him, I'm happy to play with you as long as we're clear on what you're getting right, on what I can offer to the equation. [00:02:19.280] - Tony Roig I am currently not in top tournament shape, right? This is not my relationship with pickleball. This is not my why of pickleball anymore. It was at one point in 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. I used to come down here. [00:02:31.340] - Tony Roig I would try and get ready before the tournament, drilling, playing with my partner, working on strategies and things like that. Now my relationship with pickleball has evolved, which I think is natural. I've been playing for 10 years. And it's evolved to where my relationship with pickleball, my why for pickleball is more as a coach now. This is what I love doing. [00:02:52.080] - Tony Roig I love recording these podcasts. I love coaching players individually and in group settings. I love thinking of curriculum and sharing content that will help pickleball players become stronger players and have a stronger connection with the sport. So what does that mean in terms of my ability to partake in a tournament? Here tomorrow, it really, from my perspective, doesn't mean anything. [00:03:16.000] - Tony Roig Meaning it doesn't negatively impact my ability to enjoy this experience because I'm clear on my why I'm here. I'm clear on my why of pickleball and why I chose to join the US Open. And I'll tie that back in in a minute after we talk a little bit more about— dive into your why for pickleball. So what I want you to do is think about this for a second, right? If you're listening to this podcast, you're not a casual once in a while pickleball player. [00:03:45.280] - Tony Roig You're a quote unquote serious pickleball player. You play pickleball on a regular basis, and that's fantastic. What I want you to ask yourself is this question. The question I want you to ask yourself is why do you play? Why do you get up at whatever time you get up to go to the courts? [00:03:58.270] - Tony Roig Why do you fight traffic if that's the case in your scenario? Why do you schedule your week around pickleball time? Why is that so important to you? And I want you to take a moment here. I want you to think about it because it's really important for you to have your own why. [00:04:14.530] - Tony Roig And I will tell you this, if you're listening to this podcast and you've already heard this kind of concept, because this is a concept that is so important that I've hit it several times in prior podcasts and also in the book, but this podcast I'm actually gonna, I'm gonna come at it a little bit different angle because I think there's always some different way of coming at a concept that might resonate or land differently for you. So take a moment and give a thought to why is it that you play pickleball? And if you have somewhere you can write it down, write it down somewhere. If you remember it and just put it in the back of your mind, put it in the back of your mind. Why do you play pickleball? [00:04:50.840] - Tony Roig All right. If you know why you play pickleball, if you have your answer, here's what we hear when I've asked players, thousands of players, and I mean that literally, thousands of players, why they play pickleball. Both online and in person. And what we hear are things like exercise, social, competition, growth, camaraderie, fun, all sorts of words that we hear. What we don't hear is, I play pickleball so that I can win a game. [00:05:21.920] - Tony Roig I don't play pickleball. We don't hear, I play pickleball because I want to get to 11 points before my opponent gets 11 points, which is what all that winning is, right? I've only heard that answer one time out of thousands of players that we've asked. So what that tells me is that for, if not all of you listening, the vast majority of you listening, your relationship with pickleball, the reason you play pickleball is not to win games. It's because of fill in the blank, whatever it was that you answered before. [00:05:53.930] - Tony Roig Now let's dive into why this is important, right? Why this matters. You know, why it's important to know your why. Okay, the beautiful thing about knowing your why is that you can focus on the good, you can notice the good. And what I've been thinking about here is, uh, you know, we're coming into spring, uh, and, uh, you know, things are blooming. [00:06:15.080] - Tony Roig Planted some flowers the other day in the garden outside, and, uh, day after I planted them, they already started opening, look beautiful. What happens normally though is, you know, as we go about our day, right, as we're walking around We just don't see those flowers, you know, whether we planted them or they're, you know, in a garden bed next to where we're walking, or just a quote-unquote weed that has a flower on it. How often do we stand there for a second and notice the flower? But here's the thing, the flower is there whether you watch it or not, whether you receive it or not, whether you take it in or not. The reasons you play pickleball, right? [00:06:53.080] - Tony Roig The good that is the why that you play pickleball, it's there. It just needs to be noticed, right? So knowing your why, being affirmatively engaged with your why and understanding why you're playing pickleball allows you to have gratitude for that moment, have gratitude for the flower, if you will, of the reason why you play pickleball. So that when you're in that environment of playing pickleball, you don't get bogged down in the win-loss. You're not bogged down in the, oh my God, I can't believe we lost that game. [00:07:27.270] - Tony Roig Oh my God, whatever the thing is, you're able to really focus on the flower, focus on friends, exercise, social, getting out of the house, growth, whatever it is that's your why for playing pickleball. You get to notice it more by being aware of it than if you just kind of know it's there, but you're not really paying attention to it. Just like you may know that there's a flower outside of your house right now, again, in a quote unquote weed, or down the road a little ways. But because you're not looking for the flower, because you're not consciously aware of the flower, it's not as relevant to what's going on in your daily existence. Knowing the why you play pickleball and being, again, the more attuned you are to it, The more anchored you are to that, the better you're able to experience the joy and the positives of pickleball, which are your why. [00:08:20.010] - Tony Roig Now, the flip side is also true, which is the, which is the negative. Before I do that, I forgot I wanted to tell you my whys for coming to the US Open. Right. And I have several whys why I'm here. The reason I come to these type of events like the US Open is one, I get to see fellow senior professional players. [00:08:38.690] - Tony Roig Who I don't get to see on the regular, right? We're all over the country. I met them through tournaments. I met them through coaching. I met them through other experiences. [00:08:46.050] - Tony Roig But I'm not around them all the time. So I know that when I get here tomorrow and already today, I've seen a few here walking around. When I come back tomorrow to play, I get here, probably get here about 8:30, start at 10:00. I'll walk around and I'll see John and Scott and the other Scott. There's a couple of Scotts, a couple of Johns. [00:09:03.920] - Tony Roig I'll see Jeff. I'll see— I mean, there's so many players who I'm going to see here that I don't get to see on the regular. So that's one of my whys. I get to chat with students and players I've met throughout the years. That's already happened today several times where I've had the great pleasure of having someone come up to me and say, a player come up to me and say, hi, Tony, we worked together a couple of years ago and we get to reconnect on that type of experience. [00:09:27.250] - Tony Roig Or they're enrolled in one of the classes that we have online. We get to chat about it. That's amazing for me. I love that kind of interaction. And a lot of time I spend in my office doing online work, so I don't get that kind of personal interaction. [00:09:39.040] - Tony Roig So I get that here. I get to play. I know that tomorrow I'm going to play some fun pickleball against amazing competition. I can't ask for better matches than I'm going to get here at the US Open tomorrow. Right. [00:09:51.210] - Tony Roig Hopefully I'll go deep. But even if I don't, right, I'll play 2, 3, or 4 matches, hopefully, where I can play against really high-level competition. I'm going to give it my best and do the best that I can. But just having the opportunity, right, to experience that. That's one of the reasons I'm here. [00:10:05.690] - Tony Roig I get to get on the court with my friend Jeff, who I mentioned earlier. Right. He's a friend of mine. He lives in another state. We don't see each other regularly. [00:10:12.860] - Tony Roig I've seen him at these events is where I see him. Same thing I said at the beginning. But now I'm being specific to Jeff. I get to get on court with Jeff. We're going to go out there. [00:10:19.170] - Tony Roig We're going to have a good time. We're going to support each other and compete as best as we can. And then I get to enjoy the excitement and energy that comes from an event like this. If you ever get a chance to come to an event like the US Open or Nationals or a big PPA event, something like that, Highly recommend that you do. The energy is unlike anything else in our sport. [00:10:36.240] - Tony Roig So that's something that I get to do as well. So these are my whys. So you can hopefully understand now how tomorrow the results don't matter. Now, that's not to say I'm not going to try. That's not to say I'm not going to go out there. [00:10:49.420] - Tony Roig I'm going to hit every shot the best way I know how to do it. I'm going to execute everything as best I can, and I'm going to hope that that is enough to have some success. But if it's not, as it will be for the majority of the teams tomorrow, whether my division or other divisions, I'm still gonna have a great day tomorrow because I'm clear on my why and I'm anchored to it. I know what my why is, and I've already gotten it today, and I'll continue to get it tomorrow. So that's the positive of why matters. [00:11:17.580] - Tony Roig Let's talk about why the, the, the negative, uh, the negative matters, right? Um, so the way I think about that is this, right? I'm going to acknowledge to you, and I think it's obvious, that winning feels better than losing. Okay? That's natural, right? [00:11:36.920] - Tony Roig We're human beings. So when we win a game, we're going to feel better than when we lose a game. Period. Full stop. Now, there are also other things about my day that I would prefer be one way than the other way. [00:11:49.820] - Tony Roig For example, I would prefer there be no traffic when I'm heading to the pickleball courts, as opposed to some or a lot of traffic. I actually prefer this weather right now behind me, which is a— it's a nice day, but it's a little bit cloudy, a little bit overcast, right? Not direct sunlight. But if it's sunny, I can deal with that too. Winning and losing, think about it the same way. [00:12:10.630] - Tony Roig Think about it just like a characteristic of the event. So in other words, if you prefer— let's say like me, you prefer a little bit of overcast, right? So my day is going to be better with a little bit of overcast like it is right now. Then my day is going to be a little bit better if I win rather than lose. But if the overcast ends and the sun comes out of the clouds, my day is not ruined. [00:12:31.010] - Tony Roig My day is not, oh my God, this is terrible. What kind of a day is this? This is awful. Same thing. A little bit of traffic going to the courts, part of life. [00:12:36.970] - Tony Roig It's not a big deal. Losing pickleball games, same thing, right? Give it the same kind of weight that you do to a condition such as cloudy, overcast, traffic, no traffic, or other things like that that you prefer it be one way. But it's another way because that is the level of importance that you should give to the difference between winning and losing a pickleball game, as long as you understand your why. And then what I recommend you do, and I recommend this in the article that I wrote, is think this through a little bit, right? [00:13:10.490] - Tony Roig At the end of this podcast, I'm going to give you the riff now on court 10 and give you a little bit of story on my background as a pickleball player and some of my experiences also. I think it's interesting to talk about court 10, my court 10 experience, because it gives us this idea of like a food chain in pickleball where sometimes you're the hunted and sometimes you're the hunter. Same thing happens in— it happened to us on the court 10 match. So I'll explain that in a second. But take a few minutes when we're done with this podcast. [00:13:34.450] - Tony Roig Think about why you play pickleball. Hopefully you already did that earlier, but if you didn't, think about that a little bit, right? And then think about, could you do more to remind yourself of the good when you play, right? Seeing the flower, right? Seeing the why and that your why was there. [00:13:47.640] - Tony Roig Your friends, the exercise, all of those things. And then number 3 is losing and winning, frankly, having an outsized importance to you when you're out on the pickleball court, right? Or are you able to dial it back to where it's a weather condition or something else that is not central to the experience of your playing pickleball? Because that central piece is that why that we keep on talking about. And then a little extra tip here. [00:14:15.260] - Tony Roig If it's helpful to you, write down your why on a little piece of tape and put it on the edge of your paddle, right down by your grip. So when you're playing, you can look down, see your word, and remind yourself of the flower, of the reason why you go out to the courts to play pickleball. So hopefully that'll help you with better framing for yourself, a better perspective when you play. All right, let me give you the riff now on what happened with This is 2016 now. Me and my friend Tom, we basically just started playing pickleball. [00:14:42.660] - Tony Roig We met playing pickleball. We were both new to the sport. Athletic. I came from tennis. Tom came from a high level of golf. [00:14:51.190] - Tony Roig And so we both could navigate athleticism pretty well. But we just started playing pickleball. And April 2016 rolls around and we saw the US Open being announced. We said, hey, let's let's go down there and play. Tom is— I like Tom's approach here. [00:15:07.830] - Tony Roig Tom basically said, hey, let's just play in the open. And it was a real open, meaning you played one match on a Friday and they would pair up like unknowns with knowns. And if you won that match, you play in the open division. If you lost that match, they would bump you down to 5.0. So Tom and I get here and we go out to— we get called out to court 10 for a match that Friday match, the play-in match. [00:15:30.750] - Tony Roig And we're playing against Wes Gabrielson and Dan Moore. If you've been playing pickleball for a while, you know those names. If you haven't, I will tell you that back in the day, back in 2016, Wes and Dan would have been one of the top 3, 5 maybe, but I would say top 3 teams in the Open that year. You had Kyle Yates, you had a couple of other players like that, but Dan and Wes would have been in the mix there at the top of the conversation. So perhaps needless to say, You know, we did not advance to the open division. [00:15:59.130] - Tony Roig We lost that match. I think the score was like 1-3 or something like that. So it was a pretty good, pretty good dropping that they put on us and well-deserved dropping. I mean, they played great. They were gentlemen about it. [00:16:09.630] - Tony Roig They were very friendly about the whole experience. But as should have been, you know, we got, we got beat. The, the— but here's the reality, right, about food chain, like Wes and Dan at their height. [00:16:26.330] - Tony Roig If they were going to play at their height again, not today in age and stuff like that, but at their peak, if they were to play Ben Johns and Gabe Tardy or the number one team today, I don't know that they would score 1-3. Not sure. I don't think they would. I think it would be like, you know, that might be 3-3, 4-3, something like that. And the reason I say this is not to talk down Dan and Wes. [00:16:47.560] - Tony Roig They're amazing athletes. The reason I mentioned this is because all All of us have this experience, same thing, which is think of like the last time you played a team that you're just like, oh my God, they're so much better than I am. They just, you know, in that case, you are the what? You're the hunted and they're the hunter, right? You're the prey and they're the hunting party. [00:17:08.340] - Tony Roig I guarantee you that there are other teams that feel the same way about you, right? Other players who feel the same way about you. And there's this kind of like a food chain. It's just natural, right? Where you have players, you know, Tom and I at the time, we were decent players. [00:17:20.760] - Tony Roig We're much better players today. But even today, we're not beating Dan and Wes. You know, we're more competitive. Maybe it's like 6 and 7. Maybe we take a game. [00:17:29.090] - Tony Roig I'm not sure. Very difficult for us to beat them, you know, on the regular, you know, 1 out of 50 maybe or something like that. We'll beat them in a match. But even though we're good players, there's still players who are better than us. And there's players that are not as good as us, right? [00:17:43.280] - Tony Roig So getting bogged down with this idea of, you know, like this team is so, so good and I'm not, you know, and base and thinking about yourself as a player only relative to players who are better than you and therefore make you feel lacking really doesn't make sense when you have a bigger perspective, which is this idea of like the food chain of having understanding that there, yes, there are going to be players who are better than you and there's going to be players who are not as good as you. And frankly, unless your name, you're a man and your name is Ben Johns or you're a woman named Annaleigh Waters, there's always going to be a player better than you because those two are the best players on the planet. So even the other players who are really, really good, somebody better than them. So hopefully it helps you keep some perspective in terms of that food chain idea. And I just wanted to share with you guys a little bit of story background there about what happened in the 2016— thank you— 2016 US Open there at court 10. [00:18:37.130] - Tony Roig So that's this week's podcast. I hope you enjoyed it. Next week, back in the studio. Regular sound, regular podcast, more boring background, though, even though it's a nice— we have that nice little wall of little things on the wall. But tomorrow, wish me luck. [00:18:51.890] - Tony Roig Well, I'll be done by the time this Friday podcast drops. But know that when you hear this podcast, I will have had a good time no matter the results of my tournament tomorrow. And as always, if you have a moment, please consider rating and reviewing the podcast. It helps others reach it. And share it with your friends. [00:19:09.780] - Tony Roig If you have a friend who's dealing with this feeling of not being sufficient because either the food chain or because they're losing more than they expect that they should. I hope you have a great week, and I'll see you next time on the next episode of Pickleball Therapy. Be well.