Why Is Making Friends So Hard After 40? + Coach Terri Matthias | Pickleball Fans Only

I mean, like scoring a good point and using your paddle as a machine gun.

Nobody's doing that.

Oh yeah. Yeah. I do.

We're talking, we're not talking about will you stop comparing yourself as a 1.5 playing open play. Okay.

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Yes.

One of the things I think I thought we'd jump into, you brought this up, and uh it came up during the week, I think, because you know we have kids still. Ugh, gross. But making friends, our son is I don't know

Kitchen Talk - Hot takes, weird news, and what’s on our minds this week

if he wants his business out there, but it's always I don't have any friends. And um it's I tell him it's because he's ugly. Um which is mostly it, but also he's homeschooled and also he holds down a full-time job. So you you're an adult, dude. But when did making friends as adults get so complicated, right? I count maybe two friends, um, one hand, and one of them's your my father-in-law, so uh the other one's you, and then paddle princess.

So I think as adults, it's like wit like when did you stop doing like when you went when you were a kid and you went to the playground and you would just run up to somebody and be like, Wanna play?

At the playground, you know.

So it's like, but we don't do that as adults anymore. No, yeah, but I think pickleball does that.

Yeah, you both had bikes, you both had a bat and a ball. Right. Um, you both had a glove, or someone had a football.

Right. And I think the for adults, the pickleball paddle is that now. Because when we went to San Diego, I didn't know anybody there, and then I left with like 19 friends. Oh, yeah.

You were you were adopted by a lot of people.

You know, so I I that wouldn't have happened if I wasn't playing pickleball. I what would I like? How would I have reached out or what what would have been the commonality when you go to a brand new state, a brand new city, you know, you don't fly in and just like how do you meet people?

Right.

And I think pickleball opens those doors. And I think that most adults are not meeting friends on the regular, you know, just at the grocery store and stuff like that. So I think it's a really great opportunity to meet not only new people, but people who you would normally not meet. Because, like when I went out there, the people I met, I had lunch with somebody who was 62 years old, and uh the boy that I say boy, the boy that was with us was 21. And I'm 45. Right. What a dynamic, right? You know, and that's what I'm saying. I think that pickleball really brings that and allows that for people if they put themselves out, you know. I think that obviously you have to be, hey, wanna play. Like you still gotta go back to that childhood, hey, wanna play. And sometimes that can be, you know, daunting. Daunting for people, or it can be, you know, they don't really have the confidence to do that. Right. Or, you know, they're scared to do it. But I would say probably 9.9 out of 10 in the pickleball space, if you do the hey, wanna play, someone there is gonna wanna play. Yeah.

I don't know if it's like social media because of the invention of the Facebook and all that kind of stuff. We we believe we have friends, these people that live in this virtual space that we never see for years and years, and we just follow their life on the social media, uh, tricked us into thinking we have friends. But yeah, you're absolutely right. When we can pull the phone down away from our face and we get out and look at people, we realize okay, I've done this before, right?

But without social media, I don't know that I would have connected with those people. So I mean, I think it's a great catalyst, and I think I'm I and I know I'm grateful for it because that's how I ended up meeting so many people was the initial contact was through Instagram, and then from there we met in person, you know, and so I definitely appreciate social media for that. Now, if if it if I wouldn't have acted on it, if I would have been like, oh, it's nice to meet you through social media, then I think that's a different thing. But this just made it so much better. I mean, just such amazing people. And I think the biggest thing I want people to take away is for them to know, like wherever you go, wherever you travel, bring your paddle with you, and I promise you, you will make a new friend.

Yeah, yeah, show up, right? I agree with that. I I think that holds true for most pickleball courts. We were talking with one of our one of our uh pickle pals today, and he was, you know, some courts are you know, you kind of get a different vibe from some courts. Very true. You know, especially if there's four, you know, maybe they came and they paid for that court, then obviously you're not gonna be able to jump in with them, maybe. Right. But I maybe we, you know, when you're younger, you're more open to friendships, or you're you know, maybe you're more tolerable of people, you know, in your twenties or so. But nowadays, one red flag, I'm out. It doesn't even matter. Exactly. He ties his shoes wrong. I'm out.

I also think as a kid, you you're not used to being like turned down, and as you get older, you've had some you've had failures and you've had things that didn't go well. And so your body is looking for that, and so it it's harder for you to put yourself out there because you know what it's like to be turned down.

Yeah, you know, and as a kid, you don't really have those insecurities. Like, I even felt that today when um Tracy was texting me and she's like, Hey, I have a partner for you for the new fixed doubles thing that we're doing. And I was like, Well, like, does she even want to play with me? Like, I felt that inside me, and then I was like, and she goes, Of course she does. Right. And that wasn't my response. My response was like, Well, does like I'm not that good? Does she even want to play with me? Am I like, what if I just make her mad? You know, all kinds of insecurities run through my head about playing pickleball with somebody.

Right, right. I think I think a lot of us have, and again, I'll I'll go back to social media for this. I I think it is a quiet loneliness we all have, you know. It's not a depression necessarily, but we have a quiet loneliness, and um we have our close friends that you know are just there, a ride or dies, but and we don't have any mechanism or or skill sets maybe to fix that on finding the friends. But that's where pickleball comes in, you know, because it it if you can just make that one move to drive yourself to a court and then make the next step, which is stepping out of your car and and approaching the fence where people are, someone inevitably w is gonna talk to you.

And then I I had made a post about that is like i if you are a gregarious person and you play pickleball and you see somebody, it is your job. Like it is your job to go get them, to walk over to their car or to walk up to the fence and say, Hey, do you want to play with us? Because nine times out of ten, they're gonna be too scared to do it. Yeah, and so but if you go up to them and say, Hey, do you want to play? They're gonna say yes.

Yeah, it's like yeah, it's like the middle school dance all over again. The enchantment under the sea. I'm gonna sit on the wall. I'm not a good dancer, at least I don't think I am. I'll wait for someone else.

Right.

Yeah, we got the social proofing aspect of it. I want to watch somebody else do it first and embarrass themselves before I embarrass myself.

But I think if it there's two different types of people, those people that are gregarious and the people that are not. We need both of them in the world. But I think if if you are a gregarious, outgoing person, you need to keep your eyes open and look for those people, especially if we want to keep pickleball the way it is, and and reach out and say, Hey, come play with us, hey, come over here, let me introduce you to people. That I think that's our jobs. I say our because that's the type of person I am. We are ambassadors, you know. I and I think that that is what that first initial contact, then they're like, Oh, this sport is fun. And it, you know, otherwise that they go there, and I had several people comment saying, Oh, I've driven to courts and then driven home and never even got out of the country. I've done that. Yeah, you know, so it's like I I think it's our responsibility to do that if if we're that type of person.

What well paddle princess, why was it anxiety? Was it a vibe? What what made you just not get out?

I felt insecure and intimidated.

I got you.

But if someone would have come over and been like, Hey, I saw that you just got here, do you want to come play with us? It would have made it a lot better. Right. Yeah.

I I well, I you know, this can be generationally too, because Gen X, I mean, we were taught to rely on ourselves, latchkey, the original latchkey kids and all that. We figure it out. You know what I mean? Don't depend on other people. And so, you know, I I don't know if we got spoiled on that, but you know, now in our 50s, some of us, not me, um, we're just we we feel like, okay, we can get involved, we can rely on other people, we can have friendships.

And I was talking to someone yesterday and she was saying she was really nervous and anxious about something. And I explained to her that, you know, being anxious and being excited are the same like physiologic say it for physiologically, physiologically response, you know, on your nervous system. And so if you just reframe it, that you don't say I'm nervous, you say I'm excited, yeah, then your body will start to respond in that way. And I think a lot of people, like you said, you were like, I was nervous, I was this, it's instead of driving up and saying, I'm excited, right? You know, and then that can help lead that to the people getting out of their body.

I think it just depends on the situation too. Because if, you know, there's been when we did Friday Night Lights, where it was you, me, Carrie, Stratton, Tempi, we were all out there and it was us and like power and numbers, three other friends, and then somebody else walked up, and then I was just like, hey, like you want to come play with us, like let's play together. I felt comfortable in that setting. If I go into a setting where I don't feel comfortable and I feel like I'm going to be judged, or I feel like I'm not gonna be welcomed or I'm not good enough, that's when I will completely just shut down.

But what if you flip the script? What what if you thought, I don't care if I'm not welcome, I don't care if they don't like me, I don't care if they're gonna judge me. Because really, what is that to you?

Well, yeah, Pat I'm gonna be.

That is still part of my healing journey.

I'm working on the I think you've done a really good job on healing.

I'm having a very difficult time with that. You definitely have, but I guess my question is so what if? That's the question. So what if they judge you? Right and what's gonna happen? Embarrassment. You only you can feel embarrassed. Valid. You does that make sense? Like, I think that's the thing. It's like, oh, I tripped over something, I'm so embarrassed. Why? I don't know why.

Social, social norms, yeah.

You know, and I think as we start to get older, I do think we start to just not care. Right. You know, and I think it does get easier, but as far as like, you know, pickleball goes, I think people just need to just do it, and they will realize that there are more welcoming people than there are not in pickleball. And I know we always talk about like the assholes and the level four people and all of that, but I mean they are very far and few between. And I think, you know, for the most part, and the group doesn't like them anyhow. Yeah, nobody likes them. Yeah, they only like themselves, you know. So it if they're judging you, like who cares?

I think everybody shares the same fears and anxieties, and and people will uh manifest it in different ways and manage it in different ways. You know, you gotta think about make making friends after 40 is different than making them as a kid because now these people are finding you fully formed as an adult and they're still choosing to say yeah, okay.

Oh, that's you in adult form. Right.

This is the best it gets for you.

And then like your your close-knit friends, they know your flaws. They know and they love you and accept you anyway. And it's kind of like it's that vulnerability of putting your personality out there to people who you don't know if you're gonna be accepted.

And I guess it's easier for me to say to you because I'm thinking, well, who wouldn't like you? Yeah, for sure. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm like, why would you ever feel like I hope they they like me? I'm like drama. Everybody should drama. I mean, you're a good person, you're fun, you're cute, you you know, all of those things. It's like, why wouldn't somebody like you? And it's like, well, maybe you know, they think I'm this or I think I'm that. Well, that's on them.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't want people stopping themselves from doing stuff because they're afraid of what others will think. And I definitely have it my life.

Well, I think, well, I mean, and you have gotten better about it. I mean much better. Posting on the regular now and just sharing your life out there. And I think that that may be the positive with social media. I'm always negative on social media, so I'll give it a positive, which is it's made it's made people good, bad, or indifferent. It's made people more free to share who they really are. I agree. And those those are the videos that actually do the best, is when people are real and not fake and not putting on a whole bunch of programming.

I was telling, I was telling Paddle Princess on the back porch, you know. I was like, look, I don't have time to be trying to do all the good lighting and all of that kind of stuff. Like I and I was saying, I don't know if it's because I'm lazy or I just don't want to deal with that. Whatever I put out on social media, it is whatever I came up with at that time for that moment. The lighting is what it is, the the And it's authentic. The attire is what it is for that day.

And you get a lot ton of comments though.

Yeah, and but I guess my point is the people who are wanting to start making content or start making friends or just be who you are. And it those people that don't accept you, they weren't for you anyway. And believe me, I have a lot of people that don't like me. And that's girl saying I said that's okay. You do you.

Like I'm one of them.

And and I mean, I'm talking about at pickleball, I'm talking about online, I'm talking about in business, in life, and that's fine. You not every person is for you.

Yeah, at least three times a day. I do not like you.

I think that's normal. Get out there, go play, make new friends. And especially if you're listening to this as someone who's never played pickleball, just try it. Yeah.

Definitely. Pull up, get out, and go smile at someone, and you'll be welcome.

Do it.

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Pickle Pals - Deep Dive with a Pickleball Court, Club or Influencer

Oh yeah. Easily my favorite segment because it's all about me, me, me and the guest, guest, guest. But today's guest was a real estate agent watching her market collapse in 2020. So she picked up a pickleball paddle, of course. A lot of people did. Never played a racket sport in her life. And within a year, she was meddling, not getting involved in interrupting stuff, but meddling the things around your neck, the jewelry, as we say, and tournaments. Within two uh years, two different cities were paying her to coach. Oh, and she originally named her business OnlyFans Pickleball until OnlyFans lawyers sent her a seasoned assist. So from Orlando, Florida, Coach Terry Matthias, thanks so much for being on the Big Dink Energy Podcast.

Yes, I'm really happy to be here. I love some of the stuff you guys are talking about. And um, it's funny. I'm glad to be here because I have that story as to why I reached out originally. I don't know if your wife told you.

Yeah, let's get into all that. But I I, you know, our our audience right away, as soon as I say only fans pickleball, yeah, they're gonna want to know that right away. So OnlyFans Pickleball, and then you got an actual letter from OnlyFans. Tell me about that.

So um, what was an email? But originally, so what was funny is like I taught pickleball like 2020, you know, I've learned how to play pickleball in 2020, 2021. I went to the PPA, which back in the day was like, Wow, that's a big tournament. Yeah, it's like the biggest tournament. No idea as a brand new my first tournament as a PPA. So a little insane. And then um, so then 2022, I was teaching some people, like just friends, how to play. And then um, I reached out to an online platform. Uh I don't know if I can say Teach Me To. It's an online platform that has like all tennis, took a ball, like I'm not promoting it, like anybody could search them. Yeah, it's kind of like a booking agent, you know, like you want a model or whatever, you book something, and it's a booking agent. So you look up a couple you know, lessons near me, and then you pick a coach and they just give me the lesson from the people. So it's kind of a great way. Um I've taught over like 500. I think I have like 519 lessons. Um, I started with them when they were like before they even had an app, like the Teach Me To platform. I knew the founders, so yeah, now they have involved tennis, golf, everything like so many lessons. So I started with them when they were like a startup of two guys without an app. So yeah, shout out to them. Anyway, so then that's how I started teaching, and I got my certification 2023 at USTA campus. So I'm PPR certified since 23. And then um I was on that platform just getting lessons here and there, and then I reached out to the city of Castlebury, and they were like, Yeah, we don't really have a program. We'd love to have something. So they just kind of like let me do whatever. And then uh the following year I acquired the city of Mayland.

So Wow.

Yeah, wow, um their contracted pickleball coach.

And then only the OnlyFans story, right? So OnlyFans pickleball.

Yeah, so I I decided that I wanted to be a coach in 2021 because like real estate was crazy. In 2021, I had a couple listings where it was like 30, 36 offers, you know, it was like ridiculous, and it's just insane to go through. And then I had on the buyer side, I had showed somebody 10 houses and couldn't get them a house with 20% down and 10,000, you know, 10,000 over asking or 20,000 over asking with 10,000 over appraisal, like just people paying, throwing money because people up north didn't want to live where they were still under lockdown. So they sold their $500,000 bungalow and then came down here to a slice of paradise of you know, of Florida, four, two and a half pool home with a pool enclosure for $400, and they sold their bungalow for $500. They're like, I'll give you $450 and keep the furniture, you know, like signal deliver. They were like just throwing money. So it was very difficult in 21, and then 22 was like, hold my beer. It got even worse. So I was like kind of leaned into the pickleball realm, you know, because that was like one, not just not a big thing. People were getting discovered.

People were trying to get outside, yeah.

Yeah, and everybody wanted to learn how to play. What's this new thing? I want to learn pickleball. Oh, you play pickleball? Wow. You know, everybody. So I was teaching that, and I thought, you know, this if I'm not doing well in real estate, there was this like real estate bumper that people had buy a house for me, or I'm gonna have to start an OnlyFans. So that kind of was like my thing. Like, here I'm doing pickleball instead of OnlyFans, right? So I named it OnlyFans Pickleball. I had the Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Gmail, which is still my Gmail, and nobody had it. I'm like, how does nobody have this? I couldn't believe like I I acquired all of it. Like website, nobody, nobody wanted that donate domain, nobody cared. So I had it for 22, 23, 24, 25 of June of 25. I got an email from an attorney representing OnlyFans with my website name. They said cease and desist and release that to us. And I think the reason they caught it is because there's like OnlyFans TV, like there's these OnlyFans comedians and all that, and they're branching out OnlyFans and they have OnlyFans merch. Like it's hilarious. They have OnlyFans merch, right? Right. I almost thought about buying like an OnlyFans bikini as a joke with the pickleball, but I'm like, I don't know if that's really gonna translate that well, you know. Like I don't want to really put it out there. It was great and really funny when I did it. So there was a couple of problems though with that name, as you can imagine.

Yeah, for sure.

And they're like, Well, we think it's really cute, but don't post us. We don't want to be associated with your name. Also, there's some a charity organization that was like, please don't post our team build. So I was like, great. Uh and then another charity organization, which also was like, don't post us. So I was like, oh great. They were like, we had a great time. You're lovely. You're lovely. And uh that. And then I did um one time I was at a resort and I filled in as a beginner pickleball, like teaching, you know, for a resort. And it was older people from Canada. And I had to explain to them my Instagram name. Now because I didn't want them to come home go home or tell their their daughter, because these people are like 65, 75, whatever, that my name, they're like, Yeah, the coach, she was great. She's OnlyFans. Like, can you imagine? They're like, Grandma.

Oh my gosh.

What do you mean your coach is OnlyFans?

So what happened, Grandma? What did you guys do?

Grandma, what did you do in Florida? Don't ever go back there. Like, so people visiting, like they thought it was adorable. And it was always a conversation piece, but I felt like it always had that negative thing to it that I had to explain. So I guess it's kind of a blessing. It's kind of a blessing that like last year they were like, you're out, no more of that.

Yeah.

You know.

Did did they buy the all the stuff from you?

I no, they just kicked me out of it. Like I had GoDaddy. I had OnlyFans Pickleball paid for GoDaddy for two more years, and I guess I lost it. I had to surrender it or something. I can't use it.

That's terrible.

So yeah, they owe me like they owe me like 300 bucks.

Yeah, yeah. No kidding.

I don't know. That go daddy bill, whatever I had. They stole. I know. Like, oh, can I have some merch? Store credit merch. I feel like the bikinis somebody told me are like 10 bucks. So I don't know. That would be a lot of bikinis at 300 bucks.

Yeah, no kidding. You'd be step for bikinis for a while.

Well, it is Florida, so.

So why I mean why pickleball for you? What what is, you know, you no background in it, no racket sports or anything like that in your life. So, you know, what kind of drove pickleball?

So I guess another turning point chapter in my life was in 2020. I had left my husband, you know, before the the world decided to have an apocalyptic COVID problem. So I leave my husband. And then like a month later, the world's ending. I'm stuck in my yeah, you know. And I moved into this neighborhood, which also had tennis and pickleball courts, and it's a beautiful neighborhood. So everyone's riding their bike and I'm viewing the neighborhood. I rented a place, so while I was, you know, in transition of on my divorce and stuff, I had a rental. And this neighborhood, as a real estate agent, of course, I knew it was a great neighborhood. It's guard gated, has lots of amenities. I had sold a townhouse in here before. And they I was like, What's this? Like it's like a mini tennis court thing, and I was riding my bike around and I was like, I want to go. And then I asked some people, I'm like, I heard you know how to play pickleball. Like, is there can I get in there? They're like, Yeah, just show up. I'm like, but I don't have a racket or whatever. And they're like, Oh, everybody's got like two. And I'm like, Really? Yeah. Like now everyone's got like, oh, I got six in my bag. But yeah, back then, like everybody had like one or two. They had their old one, they had their good one, you know.

Yes, yeah, that's right. Well, and and we learned, uh, keep a keep a couple extra paddles because someone's gonna show up and you wanna you want to give the fun to them. You want to give the joy to them too. It's I think it's our it's our way of crack dealing. I think is what it is in pickleball in the pickleball world. Yeah, just try this.

I did do my first tournament with only one paddle. So, you know, I guess I only had one. There's that new. I only had one paddle. I probably had the original over rep on it too.

So now you're your pitch having fun in three lessons, right? You're uh and I think that draws a lot of people in. Are you fixing anything or is it just about getting the feeling and the joy of it first?

Well, I feel like a lot of people, you know, everybody comes to pickleball for different reasons. Like some people want the social aspect of it. Some people who are older, they want like the the activity, right? Or or like a lot of times I've had older couples and they're like retired and they're like, we want to be able to do something together, you know? So I do teach a lot of retired ladies that were maybe played tennis or something before, and then um, you know, a lot of married couples. And then now the the young people, they just run around in circles and hit the ball, you know, like the 20-somethings. They don't they were like, I took tennis in high school, so they just run there. So sometimes they're playing and they're getting beat. So there's a couple of different clients I get people that are brand new, husband, you know, older people or like husbands and wives that want to do something together. And then some people I do get that are younger, they've gone to the local courts, they started playing, but then they realized like I'm getting beat. And a lot of it, which I even reached out um to your wife when she said about how the tournament you guys didn't do well. And I'm like, Do you have any footage? I was like, I honestly there's two reasons why I reached out to your wife. One was the coaching thing. I sh so let me go back to this, right? So why I reached out to you guys was um originally I look for a lot of clips because I do coach and I have a WhatsApp chat with like 50 to 100 students from each Casper or Maitland, right? So then I share tips and tricks, and they're all really excited. They can't wait to hear what I've said on this, but also I'll share tips. And I was kind of a little worried about your wife's suggestion that her coach told her to put her in front of the ball, right? Oh, yeah.

The old hoo-ha shuffle.

Yes, the hoo-ha shuffle. That would be a better way to put it. Because I was like, I have never quite told anyone to put their in front of the ball. But I did tell I do make references, like funny references. So that made me um reach out to your wife because I was like, hey, and then I you know, I followed you guys. So then I saw her. She said about that you guys did a tournament and that you're not two five, now you're like 1.9 and you did terrible. And I was like, look, do you have the footage? I'm a coach. I would love to help you. Just send me the footage of your of your tournament. Like, I'm sure it's your just position, it's position point of contact and timing. You're just out of position. So, like, if I could fix your position, you know, or or just a few things. Okay, it's checking me.

Yeah.

Um, yeah. So yeah, I wanted to reach out.

It is that that's great because you know, and we and she does do lessons. I don't do lessons. I show up and I play, and then I won't play for another couple months just because of work or whatever. And but she is she's determined. She is, and her coach is our coach is really good. Super Dave uh is really good, but we just don't put into action what he says. That that's the main problem, you know. And so, yeah, that was great. She told me all about that. I thought, wow, this is this is awesome. We definitely gotta reach out to this person and get her on the podcast. Now, what from from your coaching, from the WhatsApp and the videos you watch and the people you coach in person, what would you say if if you could boil it down, if you could say one single common mistake you see in new players that's holding them back, maybe both their game and their fun, what would you say?

Well, there most people, their game is uh what's holding them back is I think sometimes they're just trying too hard. And okay, or or they're not getting low enough. Like some people don't really like so I find that a lot of people have just a movement issue, which is why I wanted to see the video of you and your wife or or or just any video footage of her playing. Sure. But sometimes the clips that I have seen, like she looks like she's stuck in there, she's not moving, so she needs to maybe be lighter on her feet, where some people either move too much or they reach. I find that people that are tall or like men especially, they'll just reach. And I call it the you're a little teapot, like you're bending over and then you're shifting your balance. So then instead of getting low to the ball and catching it, like you know, getting you know, getting in front of it, getting yourself in front of the ball. Um getting equal just. We'll put it that way. But I I tell people too, I use that reference. I say, if I were to throw you a ball, would you go catch it like this? No, you would catch it like this. So if I were to throw you a ball, you'd go in front of it and catch it. You wouldn't just be like, oh, I'm gonna catch the ball. Like nobody does that.

Yeah, not out to not you wouldn't reach out to the center of the body. Step away from it. Yeah, you'd step into it and catch it in the center of your body.

So that's where um a lot of people do that.

So you have the the WhatsApp and you're coaching people in there, and you've got your your Instagram on there. So where can everybody in the big thing energy world, where can our dink heads, I guess, find you and connect with you?

I can send you guys a coaching link if they want to connect with me. Of course, they can find me on Instagram, pickleball fans only, and they could message me on how they could connect with me because I do have a few ways I could coach them even uh virtually as well. Great. I do review tapes, but if they are local to me, then they could just reach out to me at pickleball fans only and then I usually give people I'm pretty approachable. I usually give people my phone number and then I have a nice conversation with them to find out what their skill level is and what their goals are. Because some people just want to play better or have fun or not get hurt. So I do worry about a lot of people if they're all older. I don't want them to get injured. So it's really what is their their final goal for for pickleball, you know.

But a lot of people obviously just have fun and connect with other people or do something with their spouse and you know, so yeah, and I'm imagining we can get you on the Dinkin Dash app too, uh, the app that is partnered with Big Dink Energy, and people can reach out to you there as well. Yeah. So this is what I'll do. Yeah, let's do the shout out. Everybody, please go find Coach Terry from her Instagram and from her WhatsApp, and she's going to reach out to you and make sure you have everything you need to be successful in pickleball. Coach Terry, we are so thankful to have you on the Big Dink Energy Podcast.

It's time for pick six.

Pick six, where we take one question, each bring

Pick 6 ( 1 question and 6 answers)

two answers, and immediately regret to agreeing to this segment. Pick six tonight is things that sound like a compliment and absolutely aren't. Things that sound like a compliment, but are not a compliment, really.

So my first one is gonna be when people say, You look good for your age.

Yeah.

It's like, oh, okay.

I don't look good for 20, then mine was, Well, look at you. Getting here on your own schedule. Oh.

That's pretty good. That is a backhanded compliment, passive aggressive. Mine comes from my club days, uh, which was just yesterday. It is when someone would say, Well, she has a great personality.

Yeah, but people do have good personalities.

That's not what I was looking for in a club.

Oh.

Well, I guess if they're saying well, like, well, she does like that.

I wasn't checking out both your personalities.

Oh my gosh. This might be okay, when people are like, Oh, have you lost weight? Yeah, it's like that's a nice thing, but it's also you thought I was fat. Oh, yeah.

How far along are you?

Oh, yeah, I've had that when I wasn't pregnant. That's fun.

Did it pat your belly? No. Was it me?

No. You've always been good at making yourself a priority.

Ooh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you have such a pretty face?

Ooh, because what are you saying about the rest of the thing? What's down below? And there's nothing going on in your head. Below the chin. Yeah. Yeah. So it says, Oh, I hope she marries Rich.

Yeah. Wow, you're actually funny. News you can use. Thanks

News You Can Use

for the weather, Carissa. Now over to you, Stephanie.

So apparently, professional pickleball has a screaming problem. Somebody is proposing rules to stop players from screaming and taunting after points. And now the pros are arguing about whether screaming is part of the entertainment. So my question is, is screaming after winning a point, is it celebrating or is it obnoxious? And then also, is it is taunting different than screaming?

Oh, for sure. Yeah. Taunting is a is a sport almost all by itself. Right. This is the trash talking.

Right.

So my favorite part of the game.

What yeah. So I am I okay. I have two kinds of views on this. I think if you hit a good shot and you scream and you're like, hell yeah, like whatever. Yeah. Great. If you're like running up to the net and like screaming in someone's face, then I just I don't know if you might be on the spectrum.

Yeah, I mean, if you hit a good point, you know, down the line or ATP or something like that, and then you run up to the net and be like, ha ha, grandpa, or something like that. That's a little different.

Well, this is more in the pro the professional. They're talking about in the professional aspect, not just at rec play.

This is Oh, I'm all about rec play.

No, this is talking about coming up with a ruling against it. Okay, I think that's a good thing.

I know what story you're referring to. I saw this.

Yeah, football players scream, basketball players scream.

So first the first question was like the grunting, right? Like the uh when you're hitting a ball hard and stuff like that. That's part of it, right? Making noise when you're out there. Kind of like the no lunkhead rule at you know, planet fitness or whatever. Yeah.

They're talking about actual scream, like the screaming and the the after they play.

Well, now part of that was they were talking about the uh and all that kind of stuff that goes on in the court too. I mean, to each their own with that kind of stuff. Whatever is your power.

Why are we trying to regulate m so much?

Because it's because it's a PPA.

As people get their feelings hurt, too.

Yeah, it's all hoity toity over there in the PPA, probably.

I mean, I think there's isn't there some rules in other sports where it's like excessive?

Yeah, yeah. Like football has excessive taunting.

Excessive taunting, excessive celebrating. Yes. Well, and with that it's like excessive wife beating. Then what's then what's excessive? Then that I mean, excessive is kind of hard to it's up to interpretation.

Yeah, arbitrary.

Yeah, so I don't know. I don't think the screaming is a problem. I know that the biggest controversy now is that it is it, you know, women versus men, like it was fine for men, but now that women are doing it, now it's a big deal. I don't know. I just I mean, I I think this is dumb.

I think that celebrating is great, but being mean is just, I mean, that just makes you look like a horrible person, and that will speak for itself. Yeah. If you're if you're out there and you're blatantly taunting someone or you're blatantly like F you and whatever you want to say, that I mean, your character is gonna show that.

Do you remember? Was it in wrestling where they did like the X and hit the groin? Like you know what I'm talking about? That X thing? Like they did that InfoBall too. I mean, I don't think I don't see that. So are we really MLP?

But uh but I mean, like like scoring a good point and using your paddle as a machine gun.

Nobody's doing that.

Oh yeah, yeah. I do.

We're talking, we're not talking about Will you stop comparing yourself? As a 1.5 playing open play. Okay, we're talking about the professional leaps. That's what this is about. Banning it in professional pickleball. They don't give a shit what you're doing on a Tuesday night. You can say whatever you want on a Tuesday night. I'm talking about the proposed anti-taunting rule and anti-screaming.

I don't think there's anything wrong with screaming. Celebrate if you want. You're supposed to. That's what makes it exciting. I agree. Were you supposed to stand there and be like, I did not just hit that awesome shot? Like that was awesome. Sometimes it's it's like it's automatic. And you need to, you know, like especially if you're playing doubles, you need to celebrate with your partner. Like, that was awesome. Great job. You know, I think all of that is really good for the game and it's good for the crowd. It's good for the involvement of everybody that's there. Like I said, just don't be a dick about it.

Yeah, can we have a no asshole, like asshole policy?

Like just don't be an asshole and and we don't need any how many players do we get off the off the circuit because of that?

I don't know. I haven't really seen any. Why are you being a dick?

Yeah, I mean, I I agree. Don't be a dick, but celebrate. I mean, that's one of the first things you learn in beginner pickleball is celebrate and switch, right?

Exactly.

I mean, so that was taught from the very beginning. Why why are we taking that part away from it? Celebrate. Celebrate your wins, celebrate the balls. I celebrate when the ball goes over the net. I mean, you know what I mean?

Same. I'm like, oh, it actually landed in the right square on my surf.

Right square, I put it on the right side of the net.

Well, this is being talked uh about on social media currently.

So this is why we we stagnate, is because these are the things that we talk about in pickleball.

Like it's just gonna get stifled.

I mean, I agree with you.

Yeah, it's it's ridiculous.

Are we gonna turn into tennis where like you can barely make a sound and anybody in golf clap? Yeah, everybody in the crowd can't make a sound. That's not what the sport is about.

No, I want more taunting. I want people riding their paddle around like a horse. You know what I mean?

I want more I don't think that that's taunting. I just think that it's fun. Playful.

Yeah.

I think that it's fun. I mean, maybe not the machine gun, but you have your own little exciting dances that you do. That's fun. That's not taunting. But, you know, your middle finger in somebody's face or like pretending to shoot them. I can see how that may be taunting. Right. I agree. Things certain things should not be allowed because it's just it's disrespectful and it's unprofessional. And you are playing a professional sport, so act like a professional. But if you want to do a little dance out on the court, who is it hurting? Nobody. I'm all for it.

Good, bad, or indifferent. That's it for this episode. Unless you've got something to say. Think we got it wrong, have a better take? We want to hear it. Find us at bdepodcast.com

Wrap-Up & CTA - Final thoughts, shoutouts, and how to engage with us

or at bdepodcast on the social. Drop us a message. We might just speak to you in the next episode. If you had a good time, well, stay in peace. If not, maybe try again with the wrong people. So you know the deal, follow us, show, tell a friend, and leave us a review. Or just pretend it's never happened. Until next time, 50 stops and defenders.