E1: Madeleine Lapke: Building Community Through Pickleball

Life Lessons From Pickleball Players

Hi, I'm Shelley Maurer. And I'm Cher Emmerich. Welcome to Life Lessons from Pickleball, where we engage with pickleball players from around the world about life on and off the court. Thanks for joining us. Madeline, we are so delighted to have you on this show today. It means so much to us.

I'm so happy that you've asked me. I'm honored to be here and it's always so fun getting to talk with you guys. So what a fun way to spend some time.

Totally. But before we get started, we do want to introduce you to the rest of the world who may not know you, although you are super famous and we're thrilled. So for all of our pickleball peeps, Madeline Lapke is a certified coach with the Professional Pickleball Registry and an ambassador of the Professional Pickleball Association. And she helped establish all of the pickleball programming at the Eastside Tennis Center, also known as TOPS, in Kirkland, Washington, where she coaches youth and adults. She is also co-owner of Frog Rock Pickleball that offers unique tours and customized group and corporate events. And she has been featured in Pickleball Central and in multiple media outlets. And Madeline is beloved for her unique style of coaching that helps players of all ages bridge that challenge of learning and getting fit with fun and success. And frankly, Shelley and I can attest to the fact that Madeline brings laughter and builds connections with every single player. And she believes, as do we, that pickleball can change the world. Madeline, welcome to the show. I thank you enough. You're the reason that I'm playing pickleball and it is the joy of my life. The first day I showed up, I was petrified and you were so kind and so inclusive and just made me feel great about being there. So thank you and thank you for being here. Same goes for me, Madeline. I mean, you're the glue. You brought Shelly and me together, frankly, and that's how we even became friends on that pickleball court. I

think you guys give me way more credit than is due. I really think it's the game, you know, and the joy that it brings. And it just maybe exudes for me because I feel the same way about it that you do. It's just joyful.

It is joyful. And you have a really remarkable story on how you got into pickleball. So I'd love for you to share that.

Yeah. I am a non... I was a non-athlete, a non-joiner. I think I spent a lot of time as a kid being scared of trying things and looking dumb. So I just didn't. And... Yeah, I was happy to, I really wasn't happy to watch on the sidelines, but I kind of pretended that I was. Part of me always wanted to participate, but I wouldn't let myself. Bill and I, my husband of almost 30 years, we met in college, we were on a date once, and And we went to play tennis, which was a big deal. We're not tennis players. I thought, oh, just hit around. And I quickly realized that it was a mistake. He spun the ball and I thought it was like sorcery. Like, what is that? Like it bounced and went a different way. And I was so mad. I was like, threw my racket down. I'm like, no more, you know? And I really never did anything ever again. And for exercise, I would just walk and And every once in a while, I'd be like, I'm going to be a runner. And I'd decide to run. But it started to not feel good. So I'd stop. So I never really progressed. And I never really sweat, ever, because I never let myself get that far. I used to tell people, this is a true story, that I had a genetic, like, problem that I couldn't sweat because I really thought I couldn't. Turns out I just never exercised enough.

Okay.

So I've got four great kids. Everybody's super athletic. I just resigned myself to just watching them and being a cheerleader for them. And one time Bill and I had bought at an auction a dinner. And I didn't know, but it was dinner and pickleball. And I remember driving there to this house for dinner saying, I'll play. I mean, I'll have dinner, but I'm not going to play pickleball, whatever that is. I don't do that. And when we got there, come to find out they were doing a little tournament and I was going to have to play with another man. And he was super jazzed to play. So if I couldn't play, that meant he couldn't play. And the thought of that, I'm such a people pleaser. The thought of letting this guy down was just like more than I could bear. You guys, this is so embarrassing to say. I was literally in the bathroom, like sick to my stomach. Like I almost just bolted and like went home, but I was kind of like, I have to do it for this guy. And, um, He was a super nice partner. His name was Jason White. We're still friends. Super nice guy. And he stuck with me. And I was able to connect with the ball a couple times and get kind of out of myself. People were watching, but they weren't really watching. And I laughed. And it was a good night. And like the next day or the day after I was reading in our city offerings of sporting stuff and things to do around Kirkland that they had a pickleball league. And I didn't even get it, the sentence all the way out of my mouth. I said, Bill, would you want to? And he's like, yes. And we joined a pickleball league. It's the first thing we had ever done since that date in tennis. The first thing active that we had ever done together. And it, Totally changed our lives, you know, like, yeah, it's truly brought us together and our family together. And I just got hooked then. Just like that. Just like

that. So then did you, did you actually start the, did you go into a tournament or, I mean, what? Yeah. I mean,

not right, not right away, not right away. Um, but yeah, we got, um, our, I got my youngest daughter to play in after we'd, we'd done the league for a while and then we just got the bug. We got a net and we're like setting up the net all over town, you know, wherever we could. And we were like, there's three, um, places to play near where we live. And we just had like a route. We'd go to the first one and then, Oh, hurry. It's full. go to the next one. You know, like if that didn't work, we'd set up a net. So we were, we're playing every day. Yeah. And we just got the bugs. And then we, we entered our first tournament, just Bill and I, I wasn't playing women's then just Bill and I, and we'd really just played with each other. We'd played a ton, but we just played with each other and this other couple who were great, but we just figured out how to, beat them every single time we played them. So we thought we were so good. We were like, oh my God, we were so good. We are undefeated. Well, we really just hadn't experienced a lot of different play. We entered our first tournament and we got creamed. I think we scored, I mean, we didn't level ourselves correctly. And I think maybe we scored, I don't know, two points in all the games that we played. It was... Awful. It was embarrassing. But we were still able to find some joy in it. And we appreciated that we were doing it together. We definitely went back to work and started playing with more people and different kinds of people. And then leveled ourselves correctly and started entering tournaments.

I think that's really impressive that you stayed with it. Because a lot of people would be crushed. It's like, I thought I was better.

I can't do this again. Yeah. Right. Well, the old me for sure would have would have been embarrassed that we got so creamed. But the new me, I just there's just you guys know there's something addictive about hitting that ball and just wanting more and more of it. And if it wasn't for that, for sure, I would have been embarrassed and I would have quit. But there's something about that. Hitting that ball. Feels real

good. That's what I'm talking about it. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, Chelle. What was your progression then to teaching pickleball?

Okay, so this is a great story too. I, for most of my adult, we got married young and had kids young. And for most of my adult life, I was a stay at home mom to these, all these kids. And, but I always kind of had a side business, but I never had like a job and, and like, what would I do as a job? Like, it was scary to me. Like, I'm not good at anything. What would I do? So I, yeah.

Yeah.

I started playing pickleball and was so addicted to it. I started building up groups of, I would just, are you, you play pickleball? Are you nice? That was the criteria. Do you play pickleball? Are you nice? And then I'd ask if the answer was yes to both those questions, I'd ask for your phone number. And I started building up this pickleball playlist in my contact list. And I would get courts at ETC. I was just eager for people to play with. And so my group kept growing and growing and growing and because they're nice people, but but also because I really wanted to keep playing there at Eastside Tennis Center. We just don't have a lot of courts here. So I always made a point of being super nice to them so that they would, you know, if it came down to it, they would be on my side and like help me get a court or whatever. Yeah. And so I developed relationships with them at ETC. And we were coming a couple of times a week and I was always bringing big groups and kind of different big groups. And it was totally selfish on my part. And I was kind of consumed by it because I just wanted to play more and more. And

Life Lessons From Pickleball

one day, Dave, who runs the facilities at ETC, said, hey, are you certified? And I kind of paused for a second. I'm like, Certified for what? And he goes, for coaching. And I started laughing. I'm like, oh, you've got to be kidding. I don't really know what I'm doing. I'm just having fun. And he said, if you get certified, I'll hire you. I'm like, why would you do that, Dave? That's crazy. And he said, I'll never forget. It was like the nicest thing. He knew before I did. And I own it now. But at the time, he said, I didn't believe him. He said, you can learn the technical stuff, right? I want what you already have. You have the ability to bring people together. And that's what I'm looking to hire. The other stuff will come later. And I totally didn't believe him. But there was something about somebody who didn't have a vested interest in me. He didn't really know me. Seeing something in me, having confidence in me that just was like, Oh my God, maybe he's right. I never would have done this on my own if it had not been for him saying that. And having this job has literally changed my life. It's the best thing that I, yeah, I can't, yeah. It's been amazing and transformative for my life in all ways, not just in pick of all ways. Saved your marriage. Yeah,

totally. That's the title of one of your articles. I love it. Pickleball Central, actually. Yeah, it's a great title. Madeline, he's absolutely right. That is your personality, and that is what you do in life, and it's definitely what you do on the pickleball court. I mean, we have this huge organization of people now at Eastside Tennis Center, which is where you teach us. And yeah, everybody is so connected and beloved. You're amazing. You really are.

Well, I think I, thank you. I love it there for a ton of reasons, but I am most proud of the fact that we have, we have together with you guys and people like you have built this, this community together. Of amazing people like and pickleball brings that. But I think also just the welcoming atmosphere, you know, makes people that maybe are scared at the beginning or have never taken a lesson before. Oh, who have been hurt before on court and they're nervous coming in, whatever reason they're coming in with things and and. I think what Dave saw in me, what I did was, you know, call people by name, put myself in their position, made them feel comfortable and smiled a lot and laughed a lot. And then you guys have carried that on. And it's like this ripple effect, you know, that's just gotten bigger and bigger, all with this attitude of, you of good spirits and joy. You know, like that's that way everywhere pickleball is. But I really truly feel like our community is extra nice and joyful and special. And we've created that together, which is so, I'm the most proud of that. It just makes me

overjoyed. Well, and I think you should be because I feel like that's the culture you set from the beginning. Yeah. When we showed up and it's been easy for us all to maintain. And I'm just like you. I was one of the ones on the sideline that so desperately wanted to go play on that track team or join that softball team. But I just couldn't let myself. And so I am just having a ball with Pickleball. But it's because of the culture that Madeline said. If that wouldn't have been it, if it would have been different when I showed up, I would have just walked out the door and thought, well, this is just another sport that I'm on the sidelines. So I'm just forever grateful for the culture that you said. And Cher and I have seen what you've seen. There's so much joy around us all the time. Everyone playing basketball. whether we're at tournaments or parks or etc pickleball just brings so much joy and you know just really bringing that to people and and bringing it to light and you had so many things that you said like the title of our podcast life lessons from pickleball like talk more about some of your highlights some more of your life lessons for us

Well, I feel like I love the name of your podcast. It's totally life lessons. There's so many. And I think especially coming from a non-sport, non-team sport or non-sport background, I realize how important it is to get kids into sports. Because the confidence that you gain from it, right? Learning how to be a good teammate, you know? Learning, so this is particular to pickleball, learning how to be patient, you know? Knowing, like being calm, you know? Like it just translates so well, like in pickleball, into real life. And I'm sure you guys too can see this, how it plays out. excuse me, in your everyday life? Like number one, actually, we are exercising more. I think I might've been a little angry for a lot of my life because I didn't have the outlet. So number one, we're exercising. So we're just more at ease, you know? But But the patience that comes at the beginning, right? Everybody's hitting things hard and it's fun and all of that. But this veil is kind of lifted and you see, oh gosh, I'm patient and I wait a little bit. Better things might come to me. That's a really good life lesson. And also- don't judge a flipping book by its cover, right? Like how many times have you walked onto a court and you're like, oh, I got this one in the bag, no big deal. Like that person can't even walk or that, you know, whatever it is. And they cream you and you're sweating and they're not even moving, you know, like you cannot, you know, like, and everybody's got their own story. And you don't, you don't know, what that is. You absolutely cannot judge a book by its cover. I mean, that's a huge life lesson from pickleball, you know, and I love it. Love it. Love it. Not, you know, age, age to like, I've got in classes right now, you guys, the youngest is nine and the oldest is 91. I'm guessing at his age, I think he's between 89 and 91. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody can be on the court together. That can't happen anywhere else, you know? So there's no, it's just such an equalizer. And everybody's welcome at this table. All of them, all the ages, all the races, all the fitness levels, all the things. Like it is a life lesson in... in getting to know somebody before you decide what they're about or what they can do and what they can't do,

you know? Brilliant. Brilliant. And we haven't gotten to a level where there are certain clothes you have to wear.

That's the other thing too. I think in maybe the old me was really intimidated by people or could be intimidated by people. And the new me, like everybody looks the same when they're coming to Pickle. They're dressed the same. They're dressed to be active. So I don't know. I don't have that preconceived, oh my gosh, you're a really high-level doctor. I'm a little nervous. Or you're this in your real day job. Everybody kind of looks the same. So you don't kind of know people's backstories, which is super cool, too. We get to know each other better. We're so in love with the sport, right? And we just want to play. So we're playing with everybody because we're addicted, right? And then what happens is that we fall in love with them because we're playing with them, right? And then we get to know deeper stuff. And we're like, oh, maybe... Maybe I wouldn't necessarily choose that person. We don't have the same views politically or we don't have the same beliefs or whatever, but it doesn't matter. I'm more open to hearing what you're saying because I've already developed this super fun relationship with you at Pickleball. So now we can have discussions, you know, like as opposed to coming in, I'm nervous because you're a lawyer or you believe this way and I'm not going to play with you. Like we are unified with Pickleball. And we have this relationship already set because of pickleball. And then we're more apt to listen to each other's different stories and where we're coming from. No, there's big things going on in people's lives and I get to see it, um, every day there, um, because people confide in me or, and that, and I think I'm a little intuitive to people's feelings, right? So I can kind of read people now more than I ever did before. And there's people that have just lost loved ones and they're grieving, uh, people that are waiting for super scary, you know, test results to come back, people that have experienced trauma, you know, and they're, I get to see it all. And they're coming every day and they're getting joy and support from being on the courts, from whether they're talking about this stuff or not, it's helping to heal. Like personally, I've got major things going on and I'm kind of smiling right now but usually I vacillate between crying and smiling and I can't tell you how important it is for me to be on the court and getting out of bed and just having the joy um It's in the support. Like last night I went to bed grateful and I woke up grateful. And it's because of Pickleball that I am and other people too are able to keep going, right? It gives you something to look forward to. It releases those endorphins. It gives you something else to focus on. All of those things, but also this community of amazing people. To walk in and have people call you by name and just feel the support. There's so many people that are feeling alone and going through big things. Pickleball is a healer. When I say it can change the world, I know it can because I'm seeing it all the time. Right now, this week, I'm feeling it for myself. It's huge.

I'm so appreciative that you shared this because, you know, we've been all about the joy and the up and the down, but life is happening, like you said. And there are some weeks, sounds like this is one of those, where it's especially, especially challenging. And having people, especially if we feel isolated and we're going through that, that's the worst. So if we have a community that we can come to and feel supported, whether we share the details or not, it doesn't make any difference. It's that we feel the love and the caring. You know,

like it's so, The guys that founded it, I'm sure had no idea that the power of it, right? Right. To change the world. I swear to God. Like, it's amazing. It's amazing.

Changing Lives Through Pickleball Community

You offered a class or something and only a few people showed up and the age range was...

Yeah, I love this story. It just happened a couple months ago. We had a junior class that ended up being canceled at the last minute. So I put... I was planning on being there anyway, so I put a private lesson in there. People that I didn't know to a couple, married couple, no kids in their... early 40s Microsoft executives. Super nice people. And I'm on court and we're just getting to know each other. And in walks this cute little junior high boy. He's like 11 years old. And like you guys have kids, 11-year-old boys are not sometimes the cutest, right? And they're a little bit stinky and a little, I don't know. They're just... Junior high boys. This one's actually pretty cute. But he showed up to this class that we weren't having. So all of a sudden I'm like in a pickle knowing that his dad drives really far to get him there. So I'm like, oh, shoot, I don't want to just send him home. So I looked at this couple and I said, hey, would you guys mind if he did this class with us for tonight? And they were like, okay. But awkward situation, right? Early 40s, childless, like junior high boy. It was the most fun. Everybody had so much fun. Nobody was playing up or down, you know? And this guy had a tennis background, so he came with some pretty, like... pretty good knowledge and good hand-eye coordination and quick hands, and he knew where to place things. But he didn't have to play down to this kid. This kid had had a couple lessons before. He wasn't nervous about being on court with these people. Everybody was laughing, having a great time, and they ended up doing a whole month together, this junior high boy and this married couple, because they had so much fun together, right? And it was just so fun to see and nobody playing up, nobody dumbing it down. Like they were just equals on the court getting better, laughing, getting some exercise. It was super fun.

That is the best. And just another example of how we all come together. This idea of changing the world, I think you're absolutely right. And meeting people that we normally wouldn't meet. When would that boy, right, ever have played with the executive? Them having a junior high boy experience. That's what I love is meeting people that I normally would never have gotten to know, right?

Yeah.

Yeah,

yeah. And maybe it's not because you don't like those people, but you're just set. You kind of have your thing, your church or your work or the people that you usually hang out with and the other groups. There's a group of ladies. They're so great. They met when their kids were in a Jewish preschool together. So they're all Jewish. My kids went to Catholic school. We went to Catholic school. I had never had any... opportunities to be around large groups of Jewish people. And now they call me an honorary Jew because I'm like in with them. They are the most fun and to be opened up to, you know, their culture. And it's just, yeah, I never would have had a reason before to get to know them. And I'm so lucky to, to get to know them. They're, they're amazing. Yeah. So cool.

And you're not only, I mean, you, you have a life that's just so chock-a-block full. Not only do you have these, involvements with the Eastside Tennis Center and your parent and your wife and you teach art. I mean, you do so many different things. And you started a company, Frog Rock Pickleball. Tell us about that one.

So I started Frog Rock Pickleball with Jen, who was used to coach it at Eastside Tennis Center too. We're totally different, but brought together on the pickleball court. And we like to say that together we make one whole perfect person because the things that she can do, I cannot do. And the things that I can do, she cannot do. So together we're pretty perfect. She's from Bainbridge Island, Washington, where pickleball was started in 1965. We knew we had a great connection and we wanted to do something together. And she got her master's in tourism a couple of years ago. So we decided to pay tribute to the sport. Let's start a company taking people out to Bainbridge Island for tours to play there, to kind of honor the roots of where it came from, see the beautiful island and go across the sound on a ferry. I mean, it's the most fun thing. fun trip. Um, and to kick off our tour season this year, we're doing a stay and play. We're calling it the, uh, the Northwest pickleball escape to kick off our tour season tour season. Um, yeah, it's going to be two days of super fun at, um, the lodge at St. Edwards up in Kenmore. Um, so we'll do a day on court doing clinics and like mini tournaments, a big group dinner to bring people together that night. And then the next day, a tour, our full day tour out to, um, Bainbridge Island to play pickleball. And to give back, right, to this sport that we've all fallen in love with that has changed all

of our lives. They organized a pickleball tournament for our family. And some of my family members hadn't played before. And they gave some instruction that was just the right level and the right length of time for everybody. And we just had a blast. And it was just a great introduction from somebody other than mom. And we had a blast.

Well, so that's the thing. That's the thing too. Sometimes the family doesn't want to hear it from you. So to be able to like give it to somebody else, you know, and you can just sit back and relax and enjoy it with them. Yeah. We, we love doing those events and they're super fun. Yeah. To make everybody feel successful and not scared and to bring families together, you know, like there's, yeah, it's a pretty awesome. Awesome.

Very awesome.

I'm

teaching my five and a half year old grandson how to, Hit the pickleball. Yes. That's awesome. He'll be running me around the court pretty soon. Don't teach him too much. Those kids are quick. I know they are. Oh, man. So tell us how to find out about this pickleball.

Frogrockpickleball.com. Frogrockpickleball.com. rock formation on Bainbridge Island. And that's where the name comes from. It's actually two huge painted rocks. It looks like a big frog. How did those painted rocks get painted rocks? Well, from a couple, I think it was like 1970s. They were high school sweethearts and it was this big rock and they had done something to it and kind of split it in half. And when they Did it, I guess, I don't know. As a prank, these teenagers went out and painted it. It's got these huge lips. Yeah.

But they're adorable. I've seen it. Yeah, that's so cute. So, Madeline. Yeah. We are so grateful to you. for this time, and we adore you, as you well know, and we appreciate everything you've done that's made it possible for us to have a life-changing experience with Pickleball. Do you have any final thoughts for our Pickleball peeps?

I do. Well, first of all, thank you for having me, and I adore you both, too, and honored to be here as your guest. Pickleball peeps – actually, this is for non-pickleball peeps. If you're too scared to try because you are nervous about new things or if your body can do it or if – I don't know, the logistics of it or whatever it is, give it a go. Wherever you are, there are people – for the most part, people are so eager to help you. You will get started. You will – Have people, you will never find a more welcoming community.

Try Pickleball, Don't Hold Back

If you're nervous, if you're on the fence, if you're curious, if you come from another sport where you're kind of looking down on pickleball, all of those reasons, like, give it a go. See what you think. I've never met a person that tried it and was like, eh, not for me. Like, it might not be your favorite sport, but you're going to like it. Give it a go. Don't let yourself hold yourself back. Give it a try. I truly believe that. it can change the world. Amen.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And we want to thank everybody who has been listening and watching. Thank you so much. And we look forward to a conversation next week. Thank you so much. Thanks Madeline.